Home??

“Home is where the Heart is”… or so says the age-old adage.

If that is true, will I ever actually “BE” home again?

I ‘left home’ for college in May, 1997 and other than a 3-month stint after graduation at the end of 2000, I never really went back: I spent 5.5 years in Detroit and it ‘s been 8 years since I moved to NYC. I now own a little piece of Brooklyn that I call my own, and the bank calls me a “home owner”, so it should follow that I AM home, right?

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE my apt!! The views, the building, the neighbors, the ‘hood… I couldn’t ask for anything more!!! (well, maybe a 3rd bedroom woulda been nice!.. LOL)…. But, (and there’s always a “but”, isn’t there?), there was always this sense of ‘comfort’ knowing that I went “home” every xmas to spend the holidays with my grandma. Yeah, 17 years after I first left for RPI, I always felt I still had a home in Tijuana: the home i was raised in by my grandparents, the home my grandfather first built to raise his children.

And now, as preparations are made for that old house to be sold, I struggle to figure out if i still have a home — and where that home really is.

If home really is where the heart is, then half my home is on a small burial plot and half in a city I’ve never been to, somewhere in TN — so not only have I lost my “home”, but it seems my heart isn’t really mine anymore, is it?

Will the void ever feel less big? Will my residence ever really feel like home again?

 

Your feedback helps in the Journey: leave some!!